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Six-Hour Car Rides - Salvador Dali in a lawn chair.
I'm invisible without 3D glasses.
Six-Hour Car Rides
Home: I really want to go home. As much as I am happy to be spending large chunks of time with Matt, I have nothing to do here. My computer and errands and need-to-do's and most of my stuff is all in Mississippi, so all the things that I </strong>really need to do</strong> I can't do until I get back in Mississippi. And even though Matt and I have been fighting on and off all week, I don't want to leave. But I'm sick of sitting around just watching television and playing Asheron's Call because there's nothing else for me to do here.

So it's that not-wanting-to-leave but wanting-to-get-my-shit-done rock and hard place trapped feeling. I hate not being able to get my chores, necessities finished because they always hang over my head if they're not done, making fun tainted with guilt and loose ends. I feel much better about myself, more satisfied, more accomplished, not depressed when I've taken care of my responsibilities, feel like I'm doing something with my life. Unfortunately, while I'm in Atlanta, I can't do those things.

I can't wait for the day when there isn't six hours of driving time between my life and responsibilities and my Matt. I can't wait for the day when I belongings, friends, and my love aren't separated. I can't wait for the day when I can come home from work and have all my things together under one roof and not have to wait for a month to get to what I need so I can do the things I need to do.

I wasn't able to go to my friend Wendy's wedding shower this weekend because I didn't have the money to go back to Hattiesburg. My mother said she would give me money, but I couldn't get any from her while I was in Atlanta to be able to go. I just got some from Matt to be able to go back to Oxford.

I really want to go back, but I don't want to make the drive.

None of this writing really came out the way I wanted it to. I'm having a lot of trouble with expressing myself as of late, vocally or in writing, so I just gave up and tried to write down how I was feeling as quickly as I could.

mood: discontent discontent

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