Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream. (lost_angel) wrote,
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream.

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Writing less, living more, still bad at allocating time...

It's been a while since I even logged onto livejournal. The main reason is that the network has been screwier than normal and I haven't been able to open ANY webpages without a huge magical feat, doing wackyass voodoo shit, or a Shinto ritual. Another reason is that I've been sleeping at night and going to school during the day, which tends to use up the long, quiet nights when I can't sleep and have the entire computer lab to myself. I've actually been doing school work and reading for class and GOING to class so I'm not brooding all the time about my slacker-nature which was too easily worn and too quickly molded the rest of my life to fit it. Also, now that my scholarship has actually arrived, I've had money to go out into Osaka or Kyoto and go to the shrines, flea markets, and go out to sample the night life.

Now that I'm back, I've noticed a correlation between my writing and depression. I write more often when I'm depressed than when I'm busy doing things for myself...which leads to another correlation: I'm not depressed when I'm and getting my shit done and feeling good about myself because I'm not a slacker. Which means that since I LOVE to write and I feel like I'm more WHOLE when I write, I need to chisel out a section of my day that is devoted to writing, even if it is on this faceless contraption that does suck a bit of my creativity away. It's almost like I've gotten so used to writing my academic papers on the computer that when I try to write creatively or expressively on the computer, it automatically turns into a flat, prose-less, run-on garble trying to get everything I want to say out as quickly as possible and as orderly and logical as possible.

This entry is mainly to say hello to my friends again, let you know I'm back on the scene and am trying to catch up on everything that I've missed from not being able to log on.

BirdofParadox- I'm glad to hear you're moving to Jackson. It'll be fun having you close at hand when I move back to Mississippi briefly over the summer to finish my senior thesis before moving to Atlanta. Although I admit I'm quite jealous that you will have more access to our friends that I get to see so rarely. You must hug them for me. Of course, hug yourself, too, good luck there and I wish you and your love the best in getting settled. Now I just have to convince Matt that Mississippi is a good place to live. He doesn't believe me.

Nyarl- miss you much, seems like things are going well for you, and I at least can believe that the office ladies called you sexy :)

Ok, now to make myself eat and try to do some school work. I will write again soon, I can feel it like a storm approaching, the ache in my bones.

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