Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream. (lost_angel) wrote,
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream.

  • Mood:
I just realized that Matt was right. I learned all of my skills of manipulation from my mother.

But the difference is that I actually listen to the other person in arguments; hers is all manipulation, planning a verbal counterattack, listening only to locate a weakness, a word to twist the best possible way.

I'm currently sizing up my boxes and belongings here to see if they'll all fit in my car. Unfortunately, they can't; I'd have to spend the night going through what I have room to take with me, and saying a final goodbye to the rest. But I'd lose more than my belongings. I couldn't as easily see or talk to my sister. I still don't have a job or a cheap, semi-permanent place to live. I still depend on my mother for several things.

So, I won't be leaving. I'll have to put up with her hurtful comments, irrationality, and controlling nature.

But at least I learned a very important lesson. I know, just from being on the receiving end of my mother's manipulation, exactly what I'm capable of.

And even though I try my hardest to be fair, understanding, and loving, I'm gonna try even harder now.

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