Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream. (lost_angel) wrote,
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream.

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Ahhhh, but your friend is only mostly dead...

My weekend was...mostly good, kinda like mostly dead, except a little more mobile and no need of swallowing pigeon egg-sized, chocolate-coated pills.

My mother and step-father came up for some sports events this weekend. I had no interest in the sports, but the visit was acceptable, even though I got to see only a little of them.

For me, the weekend started at 1PM Friday when I woke up to the sound of a ringing telephone, Brooke's voice, and a desperate need to clean my house. In the process of going to get a take-home lunch from Pizza Den with Brooke, I locked myself out of the house, which required a trip to zordac's office to get the key. We watched Eddie Izzard's Circle (perhaps his latest stand-up?) and I washed what felt like a whole cabinet-full of dishes. Brooke straighted for me and I vacuumed, dusted, swept and scrubbed the kitchen floor, the bathrooms, etc.

Mama was feeling to ill to go out to dinner when they got into town, so we hung out with starbuckanear, alcamar and his girlfriend, Neely. Saturday was spent sleeping late again, relaxing with Jimmy, reinforcing some seams on Brooke's much-beloved thread-bare swirly skirt, eating dinner with Mama and Horace and all of my Uncle Branton's family at Jennifer's (my cousin, Branton's daughter) house followed by a mad dash to the late night showing of Kill Bill, Vol. 2 with Brooke, kesterly, John and Liz, who all came over to the house afterwards to chill.

I am reminded of how out of place I sometimes feel around my extended family (my mother and step-father slept at my cousin's, Jennifer's, house, not mine; I guess there's something wrong with it or me or something), a feeling that has come only with adulthood and a few passing years of self-imposed estrangement. My cousin and aunts prattle on about mostly unimportant things, or unimportant to me at least. I usually find a spot to sit and listen and sometimes make passing quips to see if I can make anyone smile.

Friday was Kirk's birthday, which we celebrated briefly on Friday and more fully on Sunday by grilling out at the house, playing Worms 3D and small-pot poker. It was at that cookout that I was reminded that my friends have become more like my family. I see them every day, and they bring so much laughter into my life.

But all of that, and I still feel...mostly dead. A mental sluggishness has set in and I find myself staring into space for ten minutes or more or having to repeat small tasks because I wasn't paying close enough attention or wasting time watching programs I have no desire to watch. Perhaps because I've been busy cleaning and worrying and thinking and have so much to do. My grandmother calls it piddling, my distracted, disjointed little time-wasters and musings.


But I was slightly refreshed this morning but finding out that the homework I thought was going to be turned in late isn't due until this Friday. I'll also probably be headed to Tupelo with zordac this evening to buy a t-shirt I fell in love with and Kirk a birthday present (since I haven't had a chance to shop til now).

Note: Even though these last coupla postings have seemed hollow and uninteresting as I've written them, I figure that it's better for me to at least get something down on paper, no matter how banal, to get back into the habit of writing here. I keep a little paper journal, but often those are just sketchy ideas that I promptly forget and never turn into anything worthwhile. So, here I am, in all my boringness. I often feel boring as of late.

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