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Triumph! - Salvador Dali in a lawn chair.
I'm invisible without 3D glasses.
Today I was revisited by an old enemy of mine that had plagued my sleep with nightmares and created a wave of paranoia about the house.

It was a gigantic(and I mean with legs out in normal walking mode, it was at least 2.5-3 inches long) tan and brown spider. Its front two legs were dark brown and much thicker than the other legs and it had a thick black stripe down his back. Two nights ago, I tried to best this ancient evil, but alas, he was too quick and slinked away into the boxes and piles of stuff I could not infiltrate.

Today, he returned, alone, to fight me. Appearing in the bath tub, he dared to violate my clean space (well right now it's not clean, but at least it's my cleaning space). He stood there laughing at me, "I'll get you my pretty!"

Thinking he was at my mercy, I opened the flood gates from the faucet, washing him to the back of the tub.

Then he began to swim.

I turned the water up even higher. But he lept upon an empty Oil of Olay bodywash bottle and began to sail across the water hazard I tried to kill him with. He was a freakin' white water rafting spider! Specially trained and the ultimate fear of all spider-haters.

I wept with frustration and fear. I begged the heavens to deliver me from this menace.

Behold! A vision appeared to me, colors of blue and orange, the banner of the mighty bleach that would prove his weakness.

Then a spray bottle of Clorox Clean-up materialized at my feet. Had it been there the whole time, and my eyes only been blind to it?

Following the truth of this holy vision, I snatched up the spray bottle and drenched him with the contents. It took many battles with the Clorox to finally deliver him into my hands, destroy his stamina.

Then I smashed him with a hammer!

Well actually, it was the same empty Oil of Olay bottle, but all the same, I have defeated the foul beast and saved humanity. Now I must wait to fight his brothers who will most certainly seek vengeance for his death.

mood: pleased pleased
music: John Coltrane from the new jazz CD I just made.

5 Voices in a Chorus | Lift Your Voice Aloft
mistervimes From: mistervimes Date: August 14th, 2001 01:35 pm (UTC) (link)
*CRY* You killed Charlotte!
From: starbuckanear Date: August 15th, 2001 11:58 pm (UTC) (link)
You realize that most spiders are compleatly harless to humans. So even if it DID bite you (which it probably wouldn't) it would be little more than a mosquito bite. Just thought I might share that with you.
gsan From: gsan Date: August 16th, 2001 08:07 am (UTC) (link)

Don't listen to him!

Spiders are an evil menace and they must ALL be destroyed! Even the cute movie-starring types! KILL!! KEEEEEELLLLL!!!!!
From: starbuckanear Date: August 19th, 2001 10:03 pm (UTC) (link)

Re: Don't listen to him!

Ah, yes. THAT was logical, scientific opinion. By all means take his word over mine.
gsan From: gsan Date: August 21st, 2001 07:17 pm (UTC) (link)


You can't argue with my logic!!!

probably 'cause I don't have any ;-)
5 Voices in a Chorus | Lift Your Voice Aloft