Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream. (lost_angel) wrote,
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream.

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Sleeplessness? Insomnia? Watch Football!

There's something about football that makes me sleepy, like the pulsing white lines on a highway when driving home at 3AM.

It's taken a lifetime of reinforcement to get to this point. As a child, I'd often spend lazy Sunday afternoons on the farm. In autumn afternoons when it's too chilly to play outside for long, we'd be stuck indoors, suffocating from the oppressive heat of Papaw's wood-burning heater, that old aching bones love but leave children sweating after hours running outside in the frigid air. After a big family dinner at the farm usually of some sort of fowl and all those various fried vegetables I've never learned to like, Papaw would put a few more split logs on the stove, the buttery slivers from the newly exposed core catching fire first and start to curl just as he'd close the blackened stove door.

And then he would turn on the football game.

Papaw would be the first one to fall asleep, followed by my brother, and leave the rest of us to talk, low, behind them at the kitchen table. If we'd go outside for a while, and run back in again intermittantly to thaw out, he'd yell at us to be quiet, not to let the heat out.

Hush, heat, and sleepy football.

It's most likely a conspiracy between the government and the NFL owners to keep the public docile and content. They intentionally schedule games on the days that you're most likely to eat a big meal, especially with turkey and its companion tryptophan, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Day, and your average any-given-Sunday.

I'm tellin' ya.

I think they have conspired with old, aging heavy metal bands, because that's the only place you hear metal music anymore, at the games and the football commentator shows. Metal bands wouldn't still be making money, or have a career, otherwise.

Don't say I didn't warn you!!!

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