January 27th, 2002

the torch-ginger

In Wine There is Truth

In wine there is truth, and each drop of truth scalds my unhealed flesh. Thready muscle exposed by my repeated scrapings and proddings, it is like having to walk on an ankle not fully mended because a relentless drive to fix it myself.

Unhearing and unbending, I walk again into places for which I am not ready, determined to fix problems on my own, and in the end, making the same mistakes.

I wouldn't have even mentioned all of it had I not been drunk and in less control of my emotions. I had hoped only to renew a closeness despite the jaded, strict perspective that we now view each other and the world.

I'm sorry.

Maybe one we'll both let ourselves heal fully. Until then I will sit, embarrassed, exposed and raw, still trying to fix things on my own.
  • Current Music
    Pink Floyd - Learning to Fly