Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream. (lost_angel) wrote,
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream.

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Circle of Protection, Circle of Friends

A few of my recent posts have been friends-only, which means that if you don't have a livejournal account and aren't on my friends list, you won't be able to read them.

This isn't a plug for livejournal. If you want an account, I'll gladly give you a code for a free one.

It is for my own protection. There is a link from my personal website to here. The reason I started a webpage/livejournal has change greatly from what I use them for now. When I started livejournal, I was living in Japan and enjoyed having the outlet and convenience to write one post about my day rather than sitting for several hours to write separate emails to family and friends back home. It was intended for public expression and communication.

Now I use my wepage and livejournal much more selfishly. It is sometimes merely a diarist's account of my day/night. Other times it is a conduit for my raw emotions. Sometimes I feel the itch and exposure of writing in a public forum. Other times, I feel like I have nothing to hide or revealing to the world my jagged and piercing flaws.

Some of my family apparently reads this and they have the ability to make my live more difficult than it needs to be. Thus I sometimes (rarely but sometimes) restrict who can read some of my posts. I love my family. I know they love me in return and would accept me...mostly.

However, there is no need to unwarrantably strain love and respect. For millenia, children have clutched at a small shell of privacy that protects them from the judging eyes of parents, friends, employers, colleagues, and eventually their own children. Whether those eyes are actually critical or whether there really isn't anything worthy of hiding and worry is irrelevant. That privacy and safety is still the goal, a shard of adulthood and autonomy.

So, if you want to read what you can't always see on this censored page, go create your own account and send me an email.

No promises that the uncensored posts will be interesting, though.

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