Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream. (lost_angel) wrote,
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream.

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All of you might have met me at some time or another.

I'm this girl who had gotten fairly good at writing in her journal frequently enough to make her satisfied with her contribution but who got sucked into a humongous gravitational vortex called the Christmas holidays and was never heard from again...

...until now.

I have gotten mostly back in the rhythm of things, although my life-schedule had always been a little cock-eyed.
A few holiday highlights:
  • Hearing Green Day's Time of Your Life as elevator music
  • Going gambling with Mama and Grandma. I had fun, and making extra cash almost always makes you smile.
  • Getting to see family again that I usually only see thrice a year. Things went frighteningly well.
  • Going to one cousin's (Matt Howton) wedding, seeing how grown-up and happy he has become.
  • Going to visit another cousin (Angie Ellison) right after the birth of her first child. Pictures for family or bored internet surfers here. I'll likely be in and out of the hospital to visit her and then at her house when she's finally able to come home.
  • Coming home to wonderful friends, my kittens, good food (cooked on zordac's new charcoal grill), and a relaxing New Year's Eve.
  • Rogue-ing a bottle of my mother's phenomenal homemade kahlua; this bottle is four years old.
  • Bringing home boxes of beloved belongings that have lain neglected in my mother's attic for far too long.

I also ended my nearly three-year-long engagement with Matt. The decision was brutal. I still love him. We're still talking and will perhaps continue to see each other (as well as you can "see" someone you haven't seen in ten months), but the engagement is off and a lot of the weight has lifted.

I've tried not to broadcast my decision. I hate gossip, rumor mills, and petty people who will try to interject their own reasoning, ideas, advice, or "I told you so"'s onto the situation or color the story before they pass it on to their friends.

However, it's here, in print. I love Matt, but the ring was holding back both our personal growth and the growth of our relationship.

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